the land won't forget
Germany Pale Mother | Helma Sanders-Brahms | 1980 Eva Mattes
When the men come, set yourself on fire -
Warsan Shire
What I would say to my two daughters if I was a mother
in Afghanistan, a role that very easily could’ve been mine.
What would I say to the women who come to my door, asking
for a list of my daughters and their ages? Across Afghanistan, families had far
more boys than girls these days.
I would take both Layla and Jasmine to the bathroom, I
would explain that men are coming. They have terrible intentions, and they use
a biological weapon rather than a man made one. Because of the intimacy of the
violence, we must be drastic in our protection.
I would give them each a buzz cut over the sink,
wiping their tears, making noises not too dissimilar to the sea crashing on the
shore- shhhhh- ahh shhhh-
They would feel their soft brown hair between their
fingers, mourning for their tortured girlhood. The sound of their hair hitting
the concrete floor, a tender note. Overwhelmed with the sudden change in tone
of the neighbours and news casters, they cried harder.
Last week Layla
and Jasmine still had money from Eid and were planning to go to the Kabul
Street Markets.
Now?
I’d brush my open palm over my daughters shaved heads,
soft and gently prickly and pray over them a protection that apparently old testament
God has only given to men. Now Layla and Jasmine each turn to look at each
other and admire the lightness of their eyes as there is an expanse of cheek
and forehead. I’d get them an old two piece and hats from my neighbour, who
have several tall sons. We clean the hair away together, in silence.
Rolling up their cuff and sleeves, the sky would be
darkening, the men would be coming soon. I hear their teeth chatter with anxiety.
Every girl has heard horror stories, whispering in the playground, hushed
whispers during laundry.
Their cruelty,
their love of female pain. Strange, frightening stories about guns being used
or family members being forced to watch. Who do I have to protect Layla and
Jasmine from? The Americans- trigger happy yankees? The British and their virtue
signalling? Or the Taliban? Trained to kill and destabilise by several international
institutions?
I’m sure every mother and father in this street lined
row of dinky, dusty huts has thought about fighting back, pure afghan warrior rage.
The rage that has pushed back so many armies and emperors over the years.
But rage is no match for AK47’S slung lazily over the
men’s shoulders. No match against the CIA and Pakistani intelligence working like
a band of brothers.
The air has dropped cool, evening blue, no tv. The
evening brings the news that the men are here again for their endless war.
Keep drinking hot tea and wait,
they wouldn’t take
you, not over my dead body.
"Who knows how long it would take
them to come and search house-by-house and take girls - probably rape them. I
may have to kill myself when they come to my home. I've been talking to my
friends. This is what all of us, all of us, are planning to do. Death is better
than being taken by them- Anonymous Hazara girl.
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