poem: my sweet mon cherie
Rei Kurahashi “Light in the darkness”
くらはしれい「闇の中の光」 |
trigger warning: memento mori
At 20, big G
O
D
Gave me madness, =
22, you gave me grief,
void has gained several new hues, new colours and
textures I never knew
deadbeat dad baby, I know, your ma, grandma and grandmama
knew too
Ill hold you
just me and you,
lets get some sea air
not that bed, facing the wall, an animal a punishment.
hallucinations like hallelujahs
so sweet and long like sugar cane
Always white, always purring like the sea's refrain
Shhhhhh shhhhh mursal
we
know
we see,
So how can I not believe?
gathered around me, candleit lake in the dark
but here:
Knee skin stark.
Eventually Ill get warmer.
mark my womb the graveyard,
line my lining with forget
me nots
weeping and wailing into thin air
Who weeps back?
Where does it all go? Can’t carry all of grief,
that’s why it takes two to make a baby,
Can’t cope with this tragedy
Mursal you must go hospital
Say I’m irrational,
I cry and cry and cry and cry, tears cheap to buy
If Something just dies in me I’m hollow I scream.
Miscarry
Like I have missed the carriage to motherhood, left in
the dust.
Well I click my heels, understand my womb to rust.
God gave me the cruellest heartache, most wicked heartbreak
Do I not see their teeth chatter, zip up their coats?
The little girls play my hair, like I am their mother
Or when they are distracted and need something its: “muM?”
a rise in intonation, depending where they’re from.
Shall we go for a morning swim in the sea?
No daddy, just you and me.
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