Letters to God: Part 2

“The Bookworm. Woodcut by Margaret Haythorne.” THE SURVEY. Nov. 1. 1930. 

Dear God,

Everyday, I make the choice of living. Everyday, I am unconscious enough to make the necessary choices to exist, to eat, to sleep, to speak. The futility of living! Of being human! God, how to you do it, knowing the amount of unease that goes on. Worldwide. You are higher than me God, how do you contain it all. The pain? The world taunt with violence. God, if you have me in you arms, and I eat you like daily bread, will I be free? Do I suffer, is that our nature? Do I have to wait for my heaven or do I make the choice, everyday, like how I choose to live. How hard it is, God, to live for yourself and nothing else! If only I had a religion, I can go to my place of worship and not feel abandoned at sea. In this searching, am I drawing nearer to you or further away. Back to the warm embrace of mysticism, the only thing I have experienced, the whole of body winding down and bursting with light.